Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
