no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
