What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
