I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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