last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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