Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
