hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
