If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
