just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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