I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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