i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
