Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
