She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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