I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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