could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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