We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
