Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
