he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
