she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
