Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
