Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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