I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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