should my penis look like a turkey
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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