he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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