That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
