she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
