sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Slut skills are useful in every country.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Randomize
