I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Acid is not a monday night drug
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
