So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
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