I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize