Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
