This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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