that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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