I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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