I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
