bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
