Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
home. puking in laundry basket.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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