This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Floor bacon is actually really good
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