Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
