You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
