he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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