please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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