Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
