I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
and she was petting her beer can
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
