It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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