Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
