we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
