youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize