fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
