I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
