God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
