So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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