well you can't waste a boner
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
