The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
