That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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