I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
