She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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