I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
