I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
