I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
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