Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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