spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
worst night to have a conscience
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
