Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
