I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
