Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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