I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
This is the high leading the old right now
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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