he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
sex in a hospital.. check
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
