I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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