i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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