I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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