You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
