Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
