he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You pole danced in your parka.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
