he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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